I have a friend named Nick who’s about four years older than me. We first crossed paths years ago when I was still in high school, and he was in his early 20s. We worked together in a kitchen and hit it off right away. After shifts, we’d hang out, have drinks, and occasionally get high. Nick’s gay, and at the time, I considered myself fully straight. That didn’t stop him from flirting, teasing, and generally coming onto me. I always brushed it off as harmless fun and even saw it as a bit of a confidence boost.

Over the years, Nick and I both moved on from that job but stayed in touch, catching up every now and then. During that time, I came to realize that I was at least a little bi-curious, though I never acted on it, especially while I was in a straight relationship. I used to smoke a lot of weed, and whenever I’d get high, I’d feel this intense, almost uncontrollable arousal. This led me down some online rabbit holes, and I remember the first time I stumbled upon a sissy hypno video. I was completely spellbound and ended up getting hooked. With my own small penis, it wasn’t hard to imagine myself in their place.

That eventually led to watching cum-eating videos and camming with random guys online. I never showed my face or met anyone in person, but the thrill I got from those moments was unlike anything else I’d experienced. I ended up eating my own cum more times than I could count. Still, once the excitement faded, I often felt a bit of regret—that post-rush feeling was part of why I never took things any further.

A few years ago, I was single and living in a shared house, and our lease was coming to an end. I had a gap of a few weeks before my next place would be ready, so I figured I’d just couch surf in the meantime. Not long before moving out, I caught up with Nick for a drink, and he casually suggested I crash at his place. I remember feeling this unexpected rush of excitement—I’d never actually stayed over at his before. The fact that he’d been especially flirty that night only added fuel to the thoughts suddenly running through my head. I said yes, and a couple of weeks later, I showed up at his place with all my stuff packed in bags.

The first few nights were pretty relaxed—we’d get home from work, have a few drinks, and catch up. I wasn’t smoking weed as much at that point, so my tolerance was way lower than his. Whenever we smoked, I’d get completely high way faster than he did.

One night, while we were both a bit out of it, the conversation turned to sex and more specifically, our kinks. I remember thinking I should probably shut up, but I ended up spilling everything. I told him I was really into submission, dirty talk, verbal degradation—all from the receiving end—and how most of my past girlfriends hadn’t been into it nearly as much as I was.

He was completely hooked, hanging onto every word and urging me to keep going. Eventually, he asked if I’d ever consider sleeping with a guy. He framed it like a purely hypothetical question, but it was obvious what he was getting at. I played it cool, said I’d thought about it and wouldn’t rule it out, but that it probably wasn’t something I’d ever actually go through with.

I knew I was teasing him, and he probably knew it too—but the tension, the push and pull of it, gave me such a rush.

A few nights later, we were getting high again, and this time I was really stoned and insanely horny. As we talked, he suggested putting on some gay porn. I laughed it off at first, but he said I wouldn’t really know if I liked it unless I gave it a try. Since I hadn’t told him anything about the kind of porn I usually watched, I pretended to reluctantly agree.

We watched a few different clips, all featuring a similar dynamic—a smaller, more feminine guy being dominated by a stronger, more assertive man. I was rock hard, my heart pounding, and it was clear he could tell how much I was into it. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him rubbing himself through his pants, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen. Eventually, he hesitated before asking if I’d mind if he jerked himself off. My reply was so quick and automatic that I was surprised when I said, “Go ahead.”

By this point, I’m trembling with excitement as he pulls himself out. I keep my eyes on the screen for a moment, shifting nervously before finally glancing down at his dick. It’s average-sized, uncircumcised, and so much bigger than mine. I feel like I’m caught in a wild, stoned dream as I stare at it. Then he asks if I want to join in, and panic takes over. I quickly say no.

He’s still absentmindedly stroking himself as he keeps bringing it up—not pushy, just saying it’s normal and doesn’t have to be awkward, that it would help him cum. I admit that I’m not as big as him and that I’m embarrassed, but saying it sends a surprising rush of excitement through me. He can clearly tell I’m thinking about it and keeps encouraging me, telling me how much he wants to see me and suggesting I just take everything off and enjoy the freedom. I tell him I need to think it over and head to the bathroom.

I’d already made up my mind on the way to the bathroom but needed to give myself a chance to back out. The moment the door closed, I stripped down completely. My knees trembling, heart pounding, and my little cock rock hard, I took several deep breaths before stepping back out into the living room.

He glanced at me, eyes wide and a grin spreading across his face. I stood there, feeling a mix of humiliation and excitement, my little dick standing straight out. I made my way back to the couch on shaky legs, said nothing, sat down to his right, and fixed my gaze on the screen.

We sit in silence for a few seconds before he reaches over and gently guides my right hand to my cock. I lean back, widen my legs and start to caress myself. Meanwhile he caresses my inner thigh, grazing my balls and he whispers, telling me how hot I look. I must admit that it was definitely working and had to keep myself from cumming too soon.

Eventually, he slides his hand up to my free left hand and slowly guides it over to rest on his leg, then onto his dick. My hand then gripped his cock, slowly sliding up and down. It was a surreal experience. I am starting to feel his precum over the head, his moaning and words encouraging me to continue stroking him.

I don’t know what came over me but at this point I was so aroused that I stood up and knelt in front of him, leaning forward, inches away from his dick. This was the point of no return. Running my tongue up and down his shaft, slowly. He leans back while I continue to lick his cock. I probably came across as nervous and hesitant, but honestly, I was just savoring every moment—it was nothing like what I had imagined it would be. After another minute of teasing, I took him in my mouth.

I didn’t suck him for very long, and I wasn’t very good at it—I couldn’t take him far into my mouth without feeling like I’d gag. Honestly, the whole experience felt like a bit of a blur. When he told me he was getting close, I pulled back and continued to kneel in front of him, watching as he began rapidly pumping himself with his hand. Leaning back forward again, I opened my mouth wide and held my tongue, and looked down waiting to watch for the flood of cum. He then lined up his dick with my tongue and erupted directly into my mouth.

Feeling the warmth of the cum as it lands directly on your tongue, your taste buds coming alive, and hearing him moan as the last few drops hit my lips. It felt like every neuron in my brain was completely focused on that moment, and I was riding an intense, exhilarating new high.

I continued to sit there with my mouth open until I was sure that he was finished, then I closed my mouth and swallowed.

I never came hands free before but at this point, I was pretty damn close. Everything about the experience had worked me up in so many ways.