Welcome! Im in a similar situation, but Ive been with my wife over 20 years. She knows my love for cum eating and being penetrated, but isnt really on board with me being bi. She’s made comments in the past, like one night she went on a drunken ramble about how she wanted me to meet one of her gay friends so he could have his way with me, but when I ask her if its what she wants always clams up and says no. She’s even told me in the past that I can go mess with guys, but dont tell her about it.
I dont know if I will ever come out to her, Im fine with it by this point